Nothing surprises people than a mother who claims to hate her child.

I have listened to mothers who have openly claimed to briefly feel hatred for their little ones with stories such as “I tried to block his nose severally and just wished he would shut up.”

Another mother confessed “when he cries I pinch his cheeks hard and just watch her cry.

All these mothers have one thing in common after their outrageous deeds they later feel guilty and cry endlessly about their perceived hatred against their little babies. It’s a vicious cycle of hopelessness and tears.

These feelings are feelings of postpartum depression and many mothers are not well educated about postpartum and maternal depression.

Postpartum depression may not necessarily infest itself through hating a baby. In other cases a new mother may feel hopeless and not in control of her life (see the video below).  

But it is hardly surprising considering the fatigue and sleepless nights that one has to endure amongst other not-so-nice things that come with giving birth.

Moms Talk about postpartum depression 

Source : BuzzfeedVideo

Each and every mother feels overwhelmed at some point but depressed mothers are overly sad and almost always in tears or angry. New mothers require a lot of help.

It is totally understandable that not all mothers have supportive partners and these are the most prone to maternal depression. Others are those that were dumped by their partners during pregnancy and traumatic birth just worsens the case of postpartum depression.

However all hope is not lost if you find yourself feeling hateful, desperation, lonely and out of control. There is a lot that can be done to help with these feelings of depression.

For instance, you can start by investigating if you are indeed depressed. If you have any of the above symptoms you might be depressed and even if you are not these feelings could grow into depression if you do not manage them.

Here is a list of other useful tips to help you deal with postpartum depression.  

Managing postpartum Depression

  • Allow and request people to help you with your baby.
  • Eat right (check out  11 foods that will help fight the depression)
  • Take time for yourself to just straw around and clear your thoughts when baby is asleep.
  • Sleep several times when your baby sleeps during the day. Lack of sleep can aggravate feelings of depression.
  • If you are alone do not stress over chores. You do not have to finish them right away. The chores can wait for you to catch some sleep and rest.
  • When you have had enough rest try and be in an organized room. Untidy environments aggravate depression
  • Look and feel your best no matter how unwilling you feel. Many depressed women do not even want to take a shower. Take a shower every morning and evening even if you need to force yourself. You will feel so much better.
  • Look at your baby and no matter how disappointed you feel that he is crying or that you have to take care of him alone tell him over and over that you love him.
  • If you feel like hurting your child leave the room. Let him cry if he has to but leave even if for two minutes and pace around. Keep telling yourself that you love your baby.
  • Pray hard and ask God to help you get through the hardship that that is causing you these feelings.
  • There are times when your baby is not fussy and this is when you should smile at him, hug him, kiss him and tell him that you love him and you two will be one great team.

These are just tips but it is important to seek counseling and join help groups that will help you deal with maternal depression. Finally, always know that you will get through it !

Author : Carol Munyoki.

CDM Blog